Random with Abandon

Ultrasound results

2007-01-09T15:21:00.000-08:00

Well, we went in for the ultrasound yesterday and everything is looking good. We saw the sac and the Dr. measured the yolk. Sounds like an egg right? The 'baby' is very tiny, only about 4mm in length (if I remember correctly). It appears that there is only one itty bitty (Oksana's code name for the baby), so unless they are identical there are no twins in our immediate future. They took more blood from Oksana for more tests and we have an appointment again on January 20th. We might be able to hear the heartbeat at that appointment (she'll be 8 weeks along).

First Ultrasound

2007-01-08T08:32:00.000-08:00

Oksana is 6 weeks pregnant today so we have the first ultrasound later this morning. They are looking to see if the sac has developed and how many. Since Oksana had five viable eggs when the sperm was released, there is a chance that there could be multiples. Though the chances are really low. I'm still hoping for twins (a boy and a girl) so that we don't need to go through the legal hassles again, but if we do have twins we are in for alot of hassles during pregnancy and alot more costs because we'll need two of everything. Oh well, we'll see.

We're pregnant!!

2006-12-30T19:25:00.000-08:00

Well, we (and yes, I know only *one* of us is actually pregnant) are officially pregnant. We went to the doctor Friday for the official test. So, of course we are trying to hold our excitement in check because the odds of miscarriage are still pretty high until you get past the first trimester (which is why you should wait to tell people until then). However, we are telling a few people before then. Because of the weird way they count weeks of pregnancy she's 5 weeks pregnant (the weeks start with the first day of your last period, not the conception which seems totally messed up to me). The due date using online calculators is September 3. But, we'll see what the doctor comes up with using more refined methods. Oksana goes in twice next week for them to perform some tests to make sure her hCG hormone is increasing at the appropriate rate. A week from Tuesday (January 9) she goes in for the first ultrasound. They are going to see if the sac is developing (not exactly sure what the doctor means by that, but that's what he says). We went to Half Price Books today and bought some books so now I'm reading them and learning what Oksana should and shouldn't eat and should and shouln't do.

Now we wait...

2006-12-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

Well, we went for the 2nd insemination yesterday. Now we wait for two weeks to see if we're pregnant (and by we, I mean her). If we are woo hoo, If not, we start the process over again. We will get to take a home pregnancy test the day after Christmas, when we'll be in Oklahoma. Since my family is against us having kids, we'll have to be discreet on taking the test and handling the results.

So, enough about babyquest or as one of our friends so eloquently put it, Operation Turkey Baster :-P

The weather here has warmed up again. It's nice, but makes it seem not at all like Christmas. I put out a series of micro-geocaches called the 12 Micro's of Christmas with the premise that they were easy and close to where you could park because it had gotten so chilly. Well, now its all warm again. Oh well.

No progress on the dissertation front. I am waiting for the 2 CEO's to allow the study to be distributed. With the holidays and end of year stuff, they don't seem to be putting any kind of priority on this. Sigh. I'm just ready to move on.

Well, I need to get back to work and motivation is on the low side today. I want to play video games instead (go figure).

Babyquest update

2006-12-11T12:34:00.000-08:00

Let's see, where did I leave off? Well, I don't remember so I'll start from last week. So, the early part of last week Oksana took Clomid (sp.) to increase her chances of getting pregnant. On Saturday morning we went into the doctor for them to do an ultrasound to figure out when the best time to inseminate would be. Oksana responded well to the drugs and has 5 mature eggs in her ovaries. So, Sunday evening at 7pm I had the pleasure of giving her a shot to trigger ovulation. This was not fun. It didn't end up being that bad but the anticipation of it was making Oksana all anxious which was making me feel guilty for having to be the one to give it to her. The needle was 3 inches long. I gave her the shot and she replied, "was that it? That didn't hurt at all". Oh well, now we know if we have to do it again. This morning we went to one hospital to pick up the sperm. We were told that it would be ready when we got there. But, no, there was a change in rules sometime recently and they won't start thawing it until the patient arrives. So, we sat there for over an hour. Oksana was getting livid. Oh, an unhappy Oksana with lots of hormones in her system is not a good thing. When we finally got the thawed sperm (in a container) we put it in her purse and walked over to our Doctor's office for the insemination. We got there and they did the procedure immediately. It was actually really quick. After insemination she had to lay there for 20 minutes to allow the little guys get where they need to be. We get to go through this tomorrow as well because tomorrow is the actual ovulation day. However, since you don't know exactly when your body will release the eggs, it increases your chances to have sperm there already. So, insemination today and tomorrow. I hope she gets pregnant this month so we don't have to go through all this time (and expense) again.

Kitty guilt trips

2006-12-07T12:20:00.000-08:00

So, it's 2:20pm and I've been out of the home office all day and just now getting here. You'd think I hadn't been home in weeks given the way the kitties are acting. How can these creatures who can't speak the english language give such effective guilt trips? They've *never* been petted, *never* be fed, and did they remember to mention that they've **NEVER** been petted? Ugh, and I need to be accomplishing stuff that requires me not to have a furball in my lap.

Okay, okay, I'll post

2006-12-06T08:55:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know it has been a *really* long time since I last posted. So, what's happened in the last few months....

My dissertation proposal was accepted by my committee and the University so now I'm in the study phase where I do the actual study proposed. Of course, the CEO's of the two organizations don't see this as high of priority as I do so I'm waiting for them to allow it to go out. Waiting is hard because I want it done!

We had Oksana's family here for Thanksgiving. Both her parents and her sister was here. It was really tiring, but a whole lot of fun. It's nice to have guests that you don't have to worry about entertaining all the time and can pretty much fend for themselves. I wish they lived a bit closer so we could see them more often.

On the baby front, it's almost time. There have been an extreme amount of hurdles and costs involved to get here but we are almost to conception. She goes into the doctor this weekend for them to tell her when they will inseminate. We got 10 vials from the donor so that should last us at least 5 months (and hopefully we don't need that long). I am still hoping for twins but the odds are just not in my favor. Even with the drugs Oksana is taking to make her more fertile, the percentage only goes up to like 7%.

The holidays are here. I love Christmas time. I just wish it seemed more like Christmas. We had such wonderful Christmas's as kids and I loved it. It just doesn't seem like people are in the holiday spirit anymore. Maybe the adults never were and it was just us kids. I hope my kids have the same feeling of Christmas magic that I once did.

Well, this is good for a first post in awhile. I will really try to be more regular.

Heroic dog

2006-10-18T06:17:00.000-07:00

A couple of news items for today:
The first one concerns a dog who saves his owner from a house fire and then dies trying to save the cat http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/10/18/hero.dog.ap/index.html

Given all the rain in Houston in the last few days, maybe we need this: http://www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/10/17/amphibious.car.ap/index.html

Not much else going on. Last week I had quite a few meetings for work so it seemed like I was always going or coming back from somewhere. This week I have no scheduled meetings outside of the house (I do have scheduled conference calls). With the rain, I'm very glad of this.

My committee finished reviewing my proposal and only requested on more change. I have made that change and resubmitted it. Hopefully, it will be turned into the school now for their review so that I can start the iterative process of making them happy.

Vista

2006-10-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

Well, Microsoft is really demo'ing Vista these days. I've seen 3 demo's of the new operating system lately and while it looks cool, I don't think it's worth the hype. It's Windows XP on steroids. Someone recorded one of these Windows Vista demo's but is using Mac OS X to show the features. It's pretty funny to see that what Windows is touting as new already exists in the Mac OS. They used to say Windows 95 was Macintosh 1984 so I guess it's still the same. Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTeP_eh8XAA

Not too much else to report. Our lives are work, sleep, geocache, and eat. But, we've even slowed down dramatically on the geocaching. We've only been going out for about an hour a night. It gets me out of the house and walking for awhile, but not out all evening like we were originally doing. This Friday though we are going to see the Blue Man Group. I have never seen them before so am looking forward to it.

Back from Oklahoma

2006-10-09T14:19:00.000-07:00

Well, we are back from Oklahoma. While it was nice to see family, it was stressful to see them given this occasion. Everyone was tired, upset, and stressed out. So, I am definitely glad to be home so that I can catch up on sleep and get back into a normal routine.

We geocached to Oklahoma and back. We didn't do all that many, but having one every hour or so along the way does break up the trip and make it seem shorter (even though it can add significantly to the overall travel time).

Not too much else to write right now. Last week was shot with my grandfather's death and all the family related things going on. This week I hope to get back to normal.

Everett Eugene

2006-10-02T11:23:00.000-07:00

My grandfather passed away this morning, he was 90. He was born in Colorado and lived there until his father passed away when he was 8. He became the man of the house and from that point forward he would always have the personality as the provider. He was smart, independent, stubborn, dedicated, conscientious, and ornery. I loved him dearly. He will be missed.

We don't know yet when the services will be. My cousin is due back from Iraq on Friday so they may wait until he can be there. Whenever they decide the services will be, we'll be going up to Oklahoma.

Yes, it's been awhile

2006-09-27T07:21:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted in awhile. I haven't want to post a repeat of what Oksana says in her blog because those who read this blog, typically read that one. It doesn't matter how fast I think I can get here and post something, if I check hers she's already posted it...with pictures. So, I haven't been writing at all. However, I will post today and some will slightly repeat hers and I'll put is some original content.

We've gone geocaching for the past 3 days. We are taking a break tonight so we can watch some brainless tv instead. There are so many cache's in Houston, I don't think we could get them all, especially since new ones are popping up everyday. But, we are enjoying finding new places. There are a bunch of small parks in this city you just would never know about. I have to say (and this is sad) I'm kinda of down about not getting to do even one tonight. I know, very sad. But some time away from it would probably be better for Oksana and my relationship :-P

Why is it that service people can't or won't be accurate on times? If they tell you they'll be there between 10 am and 2 pm, why can't they be? If you had a 4 hour leeway about when you were to be somewhere, don't you think you could do it?

On the baby front, we have an updated legal document from the lawyer for her and the donor to sign that basically says that his 'donation' is nothing more than that and it does not give him any rights whatsoever. So, we just need to okay the draft and have them prepare the "official" one for Oksana and the donor to sign.

Here's an interesting news story... They think Mona Lisa was pregnant or had just given birth when she sat for Leonardo Divinci. Now, while this is interesting, I wonder at the budget for this research. I bet it was a very significant amount. Now, again, while interesting, why does this matter? Maybe it was Leonardo's ????? The story can be found here: http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/M/MONA_LISA?SITE=LYCOS&SECTION=home&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Have you ever watched any of the Trunk Monkey commercials? This is one of my favorites (Oksana, maybe we should get this feature before having a kid) ...
http://media.trunkmonkey.com/video/suburban/Monkey5-high.mov

This one is also very cool, actually it's funnier than the pediatric one, but not as relevant...
http://www.trunkmonkey.com/content/view/40/51/

On vacation!!

2006-09-08T15:12:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a week. It just seems like something is breaking everyday. Today the lawnmower is dead and of course we need to do the lawn today so that the evil homeowners association doesn't send me a nasty letter. Oh well, our lawnmower won't get fixed today because the easy fixes aren't working (gas, oil, new air filter, spark plug). We'll try to borrow our neighbors mower tonight so we can get the front yard done. The back yard will just have to become a jungle while we are away.

We are on vacation for one week starting tomorrow morning!!! The unfortunate part is that we have to leave for the airport at 5:30am. Maine is not a popular flight destination so it is a lengthy affair to get there so of course our flight leaves at 7:50 am and with the drive time and extra security time we have to get there way earlier than I want to be up. Oh well, at least we can sleep in the rest of the week.

Tonight is going to be extremely hectic getting everything done that needs to be done before we leave. It all needs to be done tonight because I am not getting up any earlier tomorrow morning.

Ah, but the rest of the week will be marvelous :-)

Ready for vacation!

2006-09-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

It's been a very busy week. You would have thought with last weekend being a long holiday weekend I would have gotten completely rested and started this week refreshed. But, alas, I was more tired after the weekend than before. Saturday was pretty lazy and was a good start to the weekend. Sunday we went to my sister's for the day to see my brother and sister-in-law who had come into town as well as play with the niece and nephew. It was a really fun day, but tiring. Monday we went to a friends house for a barbecue. There was 6 of us total and it was really fun, but again not relaxing. After leaving the friends house, the plan was to go home and goof off (me) and meet a friend for coffee (Oksana). That was great until 7:45 when Oksana called because she blew out a tire. So, I went to meet her and stay with her until roadside assistance could get to her. She called a guy friend to help us attempt to change the tire by ourselves and we did attempt it. But, something was keeping the tire from coming off so we could put on the donut. We tried everything we could think of with what tools we had, but no budging. So we had to wait the 90 minutes it took roadside assistance to get there. When he got there he took out a big metal pipe and knocked the tire off. Evidently brake dust can get coated into the tire and superglue it. Who knew.

I got the comments back from my committee and I've been working on updating the dissertation proposal accordingly. I am trying to get this done before leaving on vacation Saturday morning. It would be nice to have this off my plate while I'm away. At least I won't feel the need to work on school while I'm away if I get this completed. I am still waiting on one of the organizations to send me the official permission letter on company letterhead that has to accompany my proposal.

Last night Oksana made tres leches for a gathering we are going to tonight. I am really wanting to dive into it! It looks fabulous. Yummy!

Oh well, I should get back to work (or don't tell my boss - back to my dissertation) :-)

It's finally September

2006-09-01T12:24:00.000-07:00

Well, it's finally September. Maybe now the temperatures will start going down a bit. Our windows/AC unit are pretty bad so the coolest it can keep the house in the afternoon is around 84 degrees and because my home office is at the end of the house, it is around 87 degrees. Way to hot to work effectively.

I *really* wanted to take the day off from work and focus on my dissertation. Not that I should be off today because I was out of the office in Oklahoma last Thursday and Friday and I'll be on vacation the week of the 11th. I think it's because I need a vacation that I don't want to work. Plus, I just got all the feedback back from my dissertation committee and I really want to get the edits fixed so that I can move onto the next step.

Work was actually pretty good this morning. I had a client issue dumped on me Wednesday night that my partner had been working on for almost 2 weeks. I had to go out to the client site today and I was pretty worried about figuring it out while there especially since they were losing patience. Well, I figured the problem out and had it fixed within 15 minutes of being there. Since I was already there, they had me do almost 2 hours worth of other work that was all billable. So, they are pleased with me. While I was there, a guy from another company liked what I was doing at that client and wants me to go to his office and potentially do some work there. So, my business partner should be happy with me today as well. It's a nice start to a long weekend.

Back from Oklahoma

2006-08-28T12:55:00.000-07:00

I'm back from Oklahoma now. I don't know much more about my grandfather's condition than when I went there. But, I'm really, really glad I went. We really can't tell if he knows whats going on around him or not. He definitely reacts to some people when they come in. He can also wave someone over and hold their hand. He just can't communicate beyond that. We also don't know if he really knows the person or just knows that he somehow knows the person (if that makes sense). The largest reaction thus far was with Oksana. He was really happy to see her. She spent alot of her time in the hospital room sitting by his bed, holding his hand, and talking softly to him. I think she was soothing to him because as soon as we left yesterday he started causing problems again (like trying to pull out his feeding tube). I just love that my grandparents just love her so.

I had a good talk with my mom this weekend. This is a big deal because my family doesn't talk. They verbalize but it's always chit chat and on safe subjects. Among other things we discussed Oksana and I having children. She admitted she doesn't know if she'll ever accept the children. However, my brother and I both feel that once the child is here, she will accept him/her. My parents still really struggle with this all, but they are very nice to Oksana.

We are thinking of getting married in Canada in October. Even though I'm not in a traditional relationship, I still want to be married before having kids. I know this does not make much sense at all. But, trying to figure out where in Canada and details on how to do it have not been worked out, however, October is looking like the likely time frame. I love the month of September and had thought I'd get married in it, but for a myriad of reasons, thats very unlikely. October is the current guess.

It's been crazy

2006-08-23T05:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been crazy since I last posted. The donor came into town on Sunday afternoon so that he could go to the doctor early Monday morning. The doctor ran all sorts of tests on him to make sure he's healthy and a viable donor. However, unlike we had been told, he was not allowed to make the initial deposit. So, he'll have to visit a clinic close to where he lives.

We went to the lawyer yesterday. We both really liked her. She's expensive but she really knew her stuff and is to the point. Oksana and I feel much better about our legal options after talking to her. So, the first agreement, the donor agreement, will be drafted in the next week for us to review. Once we are happy with that agreement it will go to the donor to sign. The good thing about this agreement is that its very effective at protecting us from him wanting paternal rights later and us from trying to get child support. This document is upheld in the courts and is pretty airtight. This is in contrast to all the documents that we'll file to try to get me parental rights. Those will be up to the feelings of the individual judge. Luckily, the lawyer knows which counties in Texas we can file in to maximize my chances of getting the second-parent adoption granted.

I am leaving for Oklahoma tomorrow to visit my grandparents. There's been very little progress with my grandfather. He will not go home and will probably have to go to a nursing home. He is partially paralyzed and unable to eat without a feeding tube or communicate. My grandma doesn't think he recognizes anyone. We don't know what we are going to do with her once he leaves the hospital. She is too healthy to go into a nursing home and can't afford an assisted living center.

I really like the new Dixie Chicks song "I'm not ready to make nice". I love that they refuse to apologize for giving their opinion. That is one of their constitutional rights. I am bothered that giving their opinion caused radio stations to refuse to play them. Plus, it is really disturbing that they received death threats because of stating their opinion. With all of the terrorism and much greater threats some wacko American is threatening three women who had a negative opinion about the president. I have a negative opinion about the president. Sadly, the death threat came from Texas. It is a screwed up world.

Thunderstorm needed

2006-08-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

I am so ready for fall or at least one good thunderstorm that will knock the temperatures down for awhile. It has been outrageously hot this past week. This would not be a problem if the air conditioning worked properly in our house, but it doesn't. We have a combination of a old/underpowered A/C unit and really crappy windows. So, if the temperature gets above 90 degrees the AC can't keep up. This week it has been 84 degrees in the house. My office (in the house) is 3 degrees warmer, so it has been 87 degrees in here. Since I work from home, it's been very difficult to work in the afternoons. I am just not as productive when I'm hot.

My grandfather is not doing too well. He is completely unable to communicate and he's paralyzed on the right side. It is unlikely that he'll ever be allowed to go home again. This really upsets me. I really can't imagine going to Oklahoma and him not being at his house for me to go visit. I'll probably go up there towards the end of next week.

The real estate agent that I had in Ann Arbor emailed me suggesting that I find another realtor. He's had the house for 2 years and been unable to sell it. I've been told by a friend for about a year now to fire him, but I didn't ever find the time to find another agent. Plus, he's been positive he could sell it. Well, he finally reached the point that he doesn't think he can sell it. So, I have to figure out if I want to sell it or rent it out. One of the clients of the startup company I work for is a realtor. Not only is she a realtor, she's a top 10 Re/Max realtor. So, I told her my sob story and she's found out the best Re/Max agent for the Ann Arbor area and has called her and interviewed her to see if she was any good. Well, this agent is taking a few days to run some analysis on the house. Then she'll let me know if the house is really unsellable in the Michigan housing market or if she'll take it on. So, I wait. If she doesn't think it can sell, I need to find a property manager willing to rent it out.

Well, I must go do a rain dance...oh, and get back to work :-P

The train has left the station

2006-08-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

It is feeling like the whole baby thing has taken on a life of its own. We met with the fertility doctor on Monday. He had Oksana come back yesterday to run all the tests to make sure she's okay. She emailed the known donor that the doctor would like to examine him. So, he's now coming this weekend and going to the doctor on Monday. The full battery of tests will be run on him as well as he'll be making a "deposit". In addition, on Monday we are going to see the lawyer. Now that the donor will be with us, that might also go faster. Aye yie yie.

My grandfather, who is 90 years old, had a stroke yesterday. It has affected his ability to swallow and therefore to eat. So, now we wait for the doctors to determine whether this is permanent or if he can be rehabilitated. It is all very scary. I really, really want him to be okay. I just lost my other grandfather 6 months ago. I want this set of grandparents to be here when I have a child. This is the set that would be okay with Oksana and I and would love us having a child. I have so few family members that feel that way. I can't imagine life without this set of grandparents.

This is going to be expensive

2006-08-14T13:28:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy day today. We went to see the fertility doctor today. I really liked him and his approach to getting women pregnant the unnatural way. He is very focused on statistics/probabilities so he makes choices based upon what will give us the greater chance of becoming pregnant instead of just looking at the cost. In the long run, it's probably cheaper or at least less nerve-wracking to pay more per cycle and have fewer of them than paying less per cycle (month) but taking longer to get pregnant. Of course, there are some who get pregnant on the first try the cheaper way, but from the stories I've seen on the internet, it's rare. He is having Oksana do all these tests upfront to make sure there's no fertility problems (instead of testing her if she doesn't get pregnant after several unsuccessful attempts). He prescribed her prenatal vitamins and plans on doing two inseminations per cycle to increase the chances even further. On top of that, he is also going to have her take a fertility drug (not the type/strength that you read about multiple births with, though it does increase her chance to 9%). I would actually prefer to have twins given the legal/medical hurdles and costs involved with having kids. It would also keep us from having to pay to keep the donor's sperm frozen for the next 3 - 4 years.

Next week we meet with the lawyer to find out about the legal documents we will need. I've already been quoted the retainer amount for getting the initial donor agreement in place and it is much higher than I anticipated. Add the other agreements we will need and it may surpass all the costs for the medical aspects of getting pregnant. Aye yie yie! The doctor asked us if we had a lawyer yet and we told him that we had an appointment with one next week but didn't know them yet. It was reassuring about choice in lawyer when he recommended the same one we already had an appointment with.

Well, thats enough for this post. There are so many thoughts/details swirling in my head following today's appointment. I'm sure it will be worse next week after we meet with the lawyer. However, I need to get back to work so that I can help pay for this expensive choice we made ;-)

The Weekend

2006-08-13T05:46:00.000-07:00

Friday night we had friends over for a casual dinner and a game. It was so much fun. Oksana made Swedish meatballs. I got some french bread and warmed it up and our friends brought over crackers/cheese and wine. After dinner we played a game called "The Settlers of Catan". It is such a fun game. However, it's from an independent game maker so its not found in regular retail stores. Thats too bad because it is very fun.

Yesterday Oksana was having an ADD day so I took her to Traders Village for some retail therapy. Traders Village is basically like the open air markets in Mexico. Oksana found herself some jewelry so she's all happy with the place. We'll probably go back in the Fall when it's cooler. It was really random on what stuff was there, maybe in the Fall there will be more traders there and more stuff.

My grandparents wrote to each other during World War II. After they died, their siblings did not want to split the letters up so my mom is in the process of scanning them into the computer. After she completes this task, I will merge the scans into an Adobe document. My mom has scanned up to 2 weeks before my grandparents had gotten married, about 600 letters. I am working with this first batch of letters now. The scans themselves are about 18 GB. I am going scan by scan and making the letters lighter (they had yellowed with age) so that if any one wants to print a letter, the printer won't use all that tonor reproducing yellow. In about an hour and a half last night I fixed 30 letters. So, this is going to take some time!

My parents are supposed to drive from my sister's today to visit. However, my nephew woke up with a cold yesterday so I don't know yet whether they are coming or not.

TGIF

2006-08-11T09:04:00.000-07:00

Woo hoo, it's Friday. I didn't work yesterday because I kept my nephew for the day. His mom, dad, and new baby sister are still at the hospital. So, I kept him so that my parents would have a break and could go up to the hospital as well. He is so much fun (almost 2.5 years old), but I don't know where he gets his energy. I slept very well last night.

Oksana had a friend over last night for drinking while I was at my sisters. When I got home I had to drive him back to his car in downtown. I'd rather do this than having him drive under the influence. Plus, it allowed for Oksana to get an evening alone to talk to him. He's going through some things and it seems to be better to get people to talk when they've had a bit of alcohol.

The dinner Wednesday night was great. The restaurant, Boccado's, turned out to have very good food and a great ambiance. We had a quiet table in the corner and were able to talk for 2.5 hours. She and her partner had a child 10 years ago. The child is happy and well-adjusted. Overall, she made us feel like it is totally doable for Oksana and I to have a child together and that alot of the horror stories we read on the internet were the exceptions and not the rule. It was also nice that we could have this conversation (including details of artificial insemination) over dinner and it not be out of place. The restaurant had a mixed hetero-homo crowd, but because of its openness you didn't have to worry about some white protestant family next to you getting all uptight and huffy about the 'improper' conversation.

We have friends coming over tonight for dinner and games. Oksana is cooking which is almost a cause of celebration :-) She cooks so rarely, but she does have one or two dishes that she does very well. Tonight is one of my favorites. Yummy. However, the house is not really ready for company so it needs to be vacuumed etc before they get here. So, I need to get back to work so that I can finish early today and do some chores....

Hello Lydia

2006-08-09T08:14:00.000-07:00

Lydia and her family

The first picture is me holding Lydia. Even though Oksana held her most of the evening, I did not get a good picture of her doing so. She was a much better photographer last night and got several pretty good ones with me and her. The second photo is of Lydia's family. Joshua was being very busy and noisy last night. Lydia doesn't know what she's in for with an older brother.

Tonight we are going out to dinner with a woman who had a child with her partner many years ago. We are meeting her to get the scoop on what to expect and how they dealt with various things. We are meeting at a restaurant that is known to be an trendy lesbian bar/restaurant. We are not pleased with that choice. We try to avoid that scene as much as possible. Oh well, we'll see how it goes.

It's a Girl!

2006-08-08T13:58:00.000-07:00

I'm an aunt again. My sister gave birth to a healthy baby girl this afternoon. Her name is Lydia Hope and she weighed 7 pounds and 3 ounces. She came out screaming. Oksana and I will be going up there this evening to see her (and the rest of the family of course). My dad said that she has black hair and has a round face. If I can get a picture of her tonight, I'll post it tomorrow.

I am progressing on the Russian. Progress is slow, but steady. I started Unit 2 on the software I'm using. The first unit had 11 lessons. Today's lesson was all about verbs. I am getting where I can understand the spoken words that I've learned. I can sometimes recognize them by their spelling. However, I really suck at speaking Russian. The sounds just don't seem normal. Oh well. As long as I progress.

A friend of mine's brother is getting a divorce. I know him and like him, so I feel really bad for him. There are too many people with "I told you so" with regards to this marriage so I feel bad for him in that way as well. He met and dated a woman online. They only met a few times in person before getting married. So, while they knew all about each other from the phone and letters, they really didn't know how each other was 24/7. So, the little habits that your significant other does weren't known before marriage. Needless to say, once they got to know each other at that level, neither was happy. But, he's still depressed, even though he's better off.

Not much else to report today. I hope to have a few pictures for tomorrow's post.

The Weekend

2006-08-07T13:45:00.000-07:00

Had a pretty good weekend this weekend. Of course, I always know the weekend will be good when Oksana wakes up on a Saturday morning and cleans the house! We were going shopping with friends to Katy Mills mall and they were picking us up. Oksana knows that I don't like people to come over when the house is a wreck so she cleaned it up before they got here. The house can be a little disorganized, but piles of dishes in the kitchen and fur-laden floors is embarrassing to me. So, by 1pm on Saturday, all the cleaning chores had been done. Plus, Oksana had done most of the laundry.

So, we went to Katy Mills mall. Katy Mills is a relatively new and very large mall. So, my expectations were that we'd find some interesting stuff there. Wrong. It didn't have any of the usual anchor stores in it. It seemed to be a large conglomeration of small stores. The mall was incredibly crowded (it was tax-free weekend) and overall not worth the drive. However, I really enjoyed going out with the friends that we did.

On Sunday we went and checked out some vintage clothing stores. They are basically thrift stores that richer people sell back their clothing to and that are picky about what they buy back. Evidently, only skinny people are allowed to shop in these higher end thrift stores. They largest size they carry is a size 10. Oh well. So, I got to help Oksana find a really awesome leather skirt and some cute shoes. Given that the shoes were high heeled, it's strange that I thought the shoes were cute. I like my shoes flat and comfortable. After shopping for a few hours we went to the original Ninfa's mexican restaurant in an older part of Houston. I had been wanting to go since we moved back here in Novemer 2004 and had never made it. It was pretty good. Though, I probably wouldn't drive there from where we live for it. There are some really good Mexican food places out here. But I'm glad that we took our little adventure.

Another friend of mine got two chocolate lab puppies this weekend. She's nuts because she already has a 1 year old lab and two sons (one 6 and one 3). The puppies are adorable though. Unfortunately, one of the puppies was having trouble walking last night making my friend worried about its legs. Her husband said that if the dog is crippled, they will return it. He'll have fun explaining that to his sons. So, the puppy is at the vet.

My sister is having her 2nd child tomorrow. The C-Section is scheduled for noon tomorrow so sometime in the afternoon I should be an aunt again. It's so exciting :-)

Bored at work

2006-08-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

At work today I need to go through all of the transactions done last year using the business Visa card and the bank statements and categorize them for the tax accountant. It is very boring and tedious. Fortunately, next year I'll only have to do this for the first 6 months of 2006 because when I took over June 1, I started using an accounting software package. So, for the 2nd half of this year, I'll only have to run a report. Oh well.

I'm making good progress on my picture labeling/album creation project. I have everything labeled and in albums for the years 1990 - December 1999. I am currently labeling the pictures I took in San Diego in December 1999. Looking back at the photo's is really fun. It also makes me very aware of how much I used to travel compared to now. Of course, most of that travel was for work (I just tacked on a weekend to see the sights). It was a good job to have right out of college, but I'm glad I'm not traveling for work like I used to. I just need to find a way to get more vacation time and of course money in which to enjoy that time.

It's been awhile

2006-08-02T06:50:00.000-07:00

Well, somebody who shall remain nameless told Oksana to kick me for not updating my blog in the last few days. So, here I am....

Oksana has been working some really weird hours lately because of her job. Her hours are totally throwing me off schedule. I am used to doing certain things at certain times of the day (such as updating my blog). I seem to be snatching whatever time I can get with her regardless of what other plans/tasks it upsets. I'll really be glad when that project is over and she is back to working normal and a reasonable number of hours.

We went to see "The Devil Wears Prada" this weekend. I never read the book so I enjoyed the movie. I found it very entertaining. I wouldn't say its one of the best movies I've seen, but my expectation was to be entertained and I was. Evidently, the movie is only slightly like the book. The Meryl Streep character in the movie is harsh, but human, where evidently in the book she is just heartless. I bet Meryl had a ton of fun with that role. I think I would. Though, I don't see how anyone could be happy making so many other people miserable.

I am continuing to learn Russian. It is really a hard language or maybe I struggle learning new languages. However, I think Spanish or French would be easier because at least they use the same characters. The sounds may be different, but at least the letters look normal. Russian uses all these weird characters. I'm just glad I'm not dating someone Chinese. I'd hate to have to learn that alphabet!

My parents will be at my sisters from this coming Saturday until August 21. My sister is having her 2nd child on Tuesday so my parents are here to help out. Somehow I doubt they'll do this when we have our child. They don't think we should have children. Oh well, I guess we'll see. They handled Oksana and I being together better than I thought they would so maybe they'll surprise me again.

I hate QA

2006-07-26T14:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm just getting a chance to create an entry for today. I was QA (Quality Assurance) at work today. I had to test a customized version of the software created for a new client. However, the software is still pretty buggy so it took so long to write up everything, let alone do the testing. I don't really enjoy QA. It's a necessary evil, but it is way too tedious for any type of enjoyment. I don't see how people can choose QA as a vocation (but I'm glad people do).

I'm starting to learn Russian. It will be very slow because of my work and school commitments, but I needed to get started if I was ever going to understand it. Oksana wants our children to know Russian and I agree. However, I don't want the children to be able to bad mouth me in another language without me understanding what it is they are saying. So, I need to get moving on understanding it at least somewhat. I have no aspirations of being fluent or even conversant. I do want to understand what I hear and read to a decent level.

Dissertation Progression

2006-07-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

Woo hoo! The head of my dissertation committee okayed my dissertation proposal. I still have a ton to do before the proposal is accepted by the entire committee or the school, but this is one of the first major milestones. It's amazing how those tiny bits of feedback can just make your day! My goal is to finish the dissertation research and draft by the end of the year so that next spring is spent defending my research and completing the rounds of editing that will be required before publication. I want to graduate next Spring.

Went over to a friend's house to scrapbook last night. The idea was for her to scrapbook and for me to organize the photo's I have and put the location/dates on them. What ended up happening is that I did this and Oksana and her spent the evening chatting. Oh well, at least I got some more photo's done. After my grandparents passed away last year, I realized the importance of labeling and organizing your photo's. Of course, the paper photo's stopped sometime in 2003, now everything is digital and of course those photo's are not organized. I need to get some sort of photo album software that will allow me to organize and document my photo's. I've looked at some, but they seemed to be more gui focused and not much on functionality. But, I haven't looked into this much.

Converting family movies

2006-07-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

My parents had a bunch of old Super 8mm film reels that they shot over 30 years ago. I decided that they needed to be converted to a better format for both viewing and archiving. I sent them away to Home Movie Depot (www.homemoviedepot.com) and they did an outstanding job. They converted the film to both miniDV and to DVD and much quicker than anyone else was quoting. I reviewed the DVD over the weekend and was very happy with the results. I can't believe I was ever that little! Film is so much better than photo's because of the ability to watch facial expressions and responses to stimuli.

We have a doctor's appointment with a fertility specialst in 2 weeks. I'm not sure what is accomplished in this first appointment. We need to find out what tests are required of Oksana and the known donor. I am much more okay with going with the known donor now. It took awhile for me to process everything and to do some research. Now, I feel it is the best way to go - at least with this particular known donor.

Oksana made me a small avatar (photo) to put on my profile. I don't think it's a very good picture, but she does and I don't actually have anything better right now. The picture is at the bottom of the post.

Today is one of those days I'm not motivated to do anything I should. That is one drawback with officing from home. If you aren't in the mood to work, it's harder to force yourself to. If you are in a typical office, there aren't that many other things you can do, but at home there's always some chore that should be done. Well, I must close this entry and go force myself to work on a software licensing agreement for a new software development project we are starting.

The Circus

2006-07-23T18:05:00.000-07:00

We went to the circus today. It was a lot of fun! I hadn't been to a circus since I was a little kid. I didn't like everything, e.g., all the clown skits. I really liked the elephants, the trapeze acrobats, and most of the animal things. Next year we should try to bring my nephew. I think with all the stuff going on, he should be pretty entertained. I know we were! Oksana earned the title of best girlfriend today by going and buying me some cotton candy and a coke. The cotton candy came with a hat which of course Oksana just had to try on. Isn't she a 'sexy' mad hatter? She should wear it to work tomorrow! The other photo is of the elephants because they were just too cool.

Since returning from the circus we've had to do chores such as mow the lawn, weed eat, fold laundry, do dishes, and other really non pleasant tasks. But, since we played the rest of the weekend...

Lazy Saturday

2006-07-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

Today has been a nice, lazy Saturday. We haven't accomplished anything today. We did so much cleaning before company came last week that the house isn't in too bad of shape. Most of what we need to do this weekend is outdoor chores which can only be done morning or evening because of the heat. Oksana is in hour 3 of a nap. I'm glad she is having a good sleep, it's been a rough week for her. One of her very best friends is really upset with her right now. He's upset and she can't make it all right because he's upset that she didn't choose him to be the known donor. He is taking it as a personal rejection and he really thought he was *the* man in her life. It's been hard to explain that we don't want to be that close with the known donor. Her friend lives in town and we are afraid that because of his closeness to Oksana, it would be hard for him not to interfere into our parenting. I also have issues with it being someone she is so close to. I'm afraid the bond between them would be more than I could handle. He also really wants a child of his own so that also worries us. He can have a close relationship with our kid, in fact we welcome that, but not as a father. So, he's really upset which is making Oksana feel rotten. Oh well.

I think I want to go buy a video game. For the last 4 years I've been in school and unable to just play. I'm still in school but am waiting for feedback from the head of my dissertation committee on my proposal. So, until I get that feedback there isn't anything I can do for school. I have not known this feeling in so long I almost don't know what to do with myself. Yes, there are a million and one projects I've been putting off but....

My kitties

2006-07-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

Somehow we have acquired 4 kitties and 4 is too many. I wouldn't give any of them up now, but I definitely wouldn't want to do this again. Our kitties are great, but they never feel that they get enough attentions. They are pictured below:

Bear

Friday

Theo

Oliver

Pictures

2006-07-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple of pictures I took last weekend of Oksana...doesn't she look great!

What Makes a Family?

2006-07-21T07:32:00.000-07:00

What makes a family? Is it one man and one woman? Can same-sex couples be a family? What about same-sex couples with children? The US tries to ignore that this is a family and with holds many rights for these families because of this. Who does it hurt, the same-sex couple? Yes, but more importantly it hurts the children.

The American Academy of Pediatrics, which is a respected medical, peer-reviewed, journal have published an article gay marriage, and gay parenting. This article is excellent and provides a good summary of the impact these laws are having on the children. It can be found at http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/118/1/349 This article is significant because it was not sponsored by any gay/lesbian group so does not have the bias that some of that research tends to.

I actually don't usuall focus on these types of issues. However, with my girlfriend and I contemplating starting a family I have to start making myself aware of these issues. I usually focus on 'business' topics. I am both COO of a startup software company and a PhD student.

Why the blog?

2006-07-20T06:12:00.000-07:00

July 20, 2006

So, why did I set up a blog? Several reasons I guess. I am really bad about writing in a diary and therefore I seem to forget details about an event that happened. It was nice in college when you remembered everything. Now, it seems like adult responsibilities make you forgetful. I also wanted a place where I could share thoughts on the process my partner and I are going through in order to start a family. Also, maybe a blog is 'cool' enough to get me to post to it (whereas keeping a diary was pretty tedious).

Last weekend this guy my partner knows from online came down to visit and meet us. It was important for him to meet us because he wants us (or more specifically) my partner to be a conduit to passing on his genetics. She is a good 'genetic package' as he put it. It was a weird experience. In alot of ways, it seemed like we were being interviewed in order to have his sperm. We haven't decided whether we want to go with a known donor or not. There are plusses and minuses to both sides. If we go with a known donor, our child will have the opportunity to know who his or her birth father was. We will also know family history etc. However, given the state of the laws in the US regarding same-sex relationships, it also leaves the risk of the father later deciding he wants custody of the kid and trying for it. An unknown donor from a sperm bank would never have that opportunity.

I seem to have some issues about not having any genetic link to the child when going with a known donor. It's pretty irrational, but I guess I fear that this bond between my partner, Oksana, and the donor will cause me to feel left out. I would hate to feel like a third-wheel with the creation of my child. But, she really wants to go with a known donor and I intellectually understand why. I want my child to know who the birth father was. I want my child to have a relationship with him. I just want to make sure that this child is my child and not his.