Why the blog?
July 20, 2006
So, why did I set up a blog? Several reasons I guess. I am really bad about writing in a diary and therefore I seem to forget details about an event that happened. It was nice in college when you remembered everything. Now, it seems like adult responsibilities make you forgetful. I also wanted a place where I could share thoughts on the process my partner and I are going through in order to start a family. Also, maybe a blog is 'cool' enough to get me to post to it (whereas keeping a diary was pretty tedious).
Last weekend this guy my partner knows from online came down to visit and meet us. It was important for him to meet us because he wants us (or more specifically) my partner to be a conduit to passing on his genetics. She is a good 'genetic package' as he put it. It was a weird experience. In alot of ways, it seemed like we were being interviewed in order to have his sperm. We haven't decided whether we want to go with a known donor or not. There are plusses and minuses to both sides. If we go with a known donor, our child will have the opportunity to know who his or her birth father was. We will also know family history etc. However, given the state of the laws in the US regarding same-sex relationships, it also leaves the risk of the father later deciding he wants custody of the kid and trying for it. An unknown donor from a sperm bank would never have that opportunity.
I seem to have some issues about not having any genetic link to the child when going with a known donor. It's pretty irrational, but I guess I fear that this bond between my partner, Oksana, and the donor will cause me to feel left out. I would hate to feel like a third-wheel with the creation of my child. But, she really wants to go with a known donor and I intellectually understand why. I want my child to know who the birth father was. I want my child to have a relationship with him. I just want to make sure that this child is my child and not his.
So, why did I set up a blog? Several reasons I guess. I am really bad about writing in a diary and therefore I seem to forget details about an event that happened. It was nice in college when you remembered everything. Now, it seems like adult responsibilities make you forgetful. I also wanted a place where I could share thoughts on the process my partner and I are going through in order to start a family. Also, maybe a blog is 'cool' enough to get me to post to it (whereas keeping a diary was pretty tedious).
Last weekend this guy my partner knows from online came down to visit and meet us. It was important for him to meet us because he wants us (or more specifically) my partner to be a conduit to passing on his genetics. She is a good 'genetic package' as he put it. It was a weird experience. In alot of ways, it seemed like we were being interviewed in order to have his sperm. We haven't decided whether we want to go with a known donor or not. There are plusses and minuses to both sides. If we go with a known donor, our child will have the opportunity to know who his or her birth father was. We will also know family history etc. However, given the state of the laws in the US regarding same-sex relationships, it also leaves the risk of the father later deciding he wants custody of the kid and trying for it. An unknown donor from a sperm bank would never have that opportunity.
I seem to have some issues about not having any genetic link to the child when going with a known donor. It's pretty irrational, but I guess I fear that this bond between my partner, Oksana, and the donor will cause me to feel left out. I would hate to feel like a third-wheel with the creation of my child. But, she really wants to go with a known donor and I intellectually understand why. I want my child to know who the birth father was. I want my child to have a relationship with him. I just want to make sure that this child is my child and not his.
posted by Stacey | 6:12 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home