I hate QA

Well, I'm just getting a chance to create an entry for today. I was QA (Quality Assurance) at work today. I had to test a customized version of the software created for a new client. However, the software is still pretty buggy so it took so long to write up everything, let alone do the testing. I don't really enjoy QA. It's a necessary evil, but it is way too tedious for any type of enjoyment. I don't see how people can choose QA as a vocation (but I'm glad people do).

I'm starting to learn Russian. It will be very slow because of my work and school commitments, but I needed to get started if I was ever going to understand it. Oksana wants our children to know Russian and I agree. However, I don't want the children to be able to bad mouth me in another language without me understanding what it is they are saying. So, I need to get moving on understanding it at least somewhat. I have no aspirations of being fluent or even conversant. I do want to understand what I hear and read to a decent level.

Dissertation Progression

Woo hoo! The head of my dissertation committee okayed my dissertation proposal. I still have a ton to do before the proposal is accepted by the entire committee or the school, but this is one of the first major milestones. It's amazing how those tiny bits of feedback can just make your day! My goal is to finish the dissertation research and draft by the end of the year so that next spring is spent defending my research and completing the rounds of editing that will be required before publication. I want to graduate next Spring.

Went over to a friend's house to scrapbook last night. The idea was for her to scrapbook and for me to organize the photo's I have and put the location/dates on them. What ended up happening is that I did this and Oksana and her spent the evening chatting. Oh well, at least I got some more photo's done. After my grandparents passed away last year, I realized the importance of labeling and organizing your photo's. Of course, the paper photo's stopped sometime in 2003, now everything is digital and of course those photo's are not organized. I need to get some sort of photo album software that will allow me to organize and document my photo's. I've looked at some, but they seemed to be more gui focused and not much on functionality. But, I haven't looked into this much.

Converting family movies

My parents had a bunch of old Super 8mm film reels that they shot over 30 years ago. I decided that they needed to be converted to a better format for both viewing and archiving. I sent them away to Home Movie Depot (www.homemoviedepot.com) and they did an outstanding job. They converted the film to both miniDV and to DVD and much quicker than anyone else was quoting. I reviewed the DVD over the weekend and was very happy with the results. I can't believe I was ever that little! Film is so much better than photo's because of the ability to watch facial expressions and responses to stimuli.

We have a doctor's appointment with a fertility specialst in 2 weeks. I'm not sure what is accomplished in this first appointment. We need to find out what tests are required of Oksana and the known donor. I am much more okay with going with the known donor now. It took awhile for me to process everything and to do some research. Now, I feel it is the best way to go - at least with this particular known donor.

Oksana made me a small avatar (photo) to put on my profile. I don't think it's a very good picture, but she does and I don't actually have anything better right now. The picture is at the bottom of the post.

Today is one of those days I'm not motivated to do anything I should. That is one drawback with officing from home. If you aren't in the mood to work, it's harder to force yourself to. If you are in a typical office, there aren't that many other things you can do, but at home there's always some chore that should be done. Well, I must close this entry and go force myself to work on a software licensing agreement for a new software development project we are starting.

The Circus

We went to the circus today. It was a lot of fun! I hadn't been to a circus since I was a little kid. I didn't like everything, e.g., all the clown skits. I really liked the elephants, the trapeze acrobats, and most of the animal things. Next year we should try to bring my nephew. I think with all the stuff going on, he should be pretty entertained. I know we were! Oksana earned the title of best girlfriend today by going and buying me some cotton candy and a coke. The cotton candy came with a hat which of course Oksana just had to try on. Isn't she a 'sexy' mad hatter? She should wear it to work tomorrow! The other photo is of the elephants because they were just too cool.

Since returning from the circus we've had to do chores such as mow the lawn, weed eat, fold laundry, do dishes, and other really non pleasant tasks. But, since we played the rest of the weekend...

Lazy Saturday

Today has been a nice, lazy Saturday. We haven't accomplished anything today. We did so much cleaning before company came last week that the house isn't in too bad of shape. Most of what we need to do this weekend is outdoor chores which can only be done morning or evening because of the heat. Oksana is in hour 3 of a nap. I'm glad she is having a good sleep, it's been a rough week for her. One of her very best friends is really upset with her right now. He's upset and she can't make it all right because he's upset that she didn't choose him to be the known donor. He is taking it as a personal rejection and he really thought he was *the* man in her life. It's been hard to explain that we don't want to be that close with the known donor. Her friend lives in town and we are afraid that because of his closeness to Oksana, it would be hard for him not to interfere into our parenting. I also have issues with it being someone she is so close to. I'm afraid the bond between them would be more than I could handle. He also really wants a child of his own so that also worries us. He can have a close relationship with our kid, in fact we welcome that, but not as a father. So, he's really upset which is making Oksana feel rotten. Oh well.

I think I want to go buy a video game. For the last 4 years I've been in school and unable to just play. I'm still in school but am waiting for feedback from the head of my dissertation committee on my proposal. So, until I get that feedback there isn't anything I can do for school. I have not known this feeling in so long I almost don't know what to do with myself. Yes, there are a million and one projects I've been putting off but....

My kitties

Somehow we have acquired 4 kitties and 4 is too many. I wouldn't give any of them up now, but I definitely wouldn't want to do this again. Our kitties are great, but they never feel that they get enough attentions. They are pictured below:

Bear

Friday

Theo

Oliver

Pictures

Here are a couple of pictures I took last weekend of Oksana...doesn't she look great!

What Makes a Family?

What makes a family? Is it one man and one woman? Can same-sex couples be a family? What about same-sex couples with children? The US tries to ignore that this is a family and with holds many rights for these families because of this. Who does it hurt, the same-sex couple? Yes, but more importantly it hurts the children.

The American Academy of Pediatrics, which is a respected medical, peer-reviewed, journal have published an article gay marriage, and gay parenting. This article is excellent and provides a good summary of the impact these laws are having on the children. It can be found at http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/118/1/349 This article is significant because it was not sponsored by any gay/lesbian group so does not have the bias that some of that research tends to.

I actually don't usuall focus on these types of issues. However, with my girlfriend and I contemplating starting a family I have to start making myself aware of these issues. I usually focus on 'business' topics. I am both COO of a startup software company and a PhD student.

Why the blog?

July 20, 2006

So, why did I set up a blog? Several reasons I guess. I am really bad about writing in a diary and therefore I seem to forget details about an event that happened. It was nice in college when you remembered everything. Now, it seems like adult responsibilities make you forgetful. I also wanted a place where I could share thoughts on the process my partner and I are going through in order to start a family. Also, maybe a blog is 'cool' enough to get me to post to it (whereas keeping a diary was pretty tedious).

Last weekend this guy my partner knows from online came down to visit and meet us. It was important for him to meet us because he wants us (or more specifically) my partner to be a conduit to passing on his genetics. She is a good 'genetic package' as he put it. It was a weird experience. In alot of ways, it seemed like we were being interviewed in order to have his sperm. We haven't decided whether we want to go with a known donor or not. There are plusses and minuses to both sides. If we go with a known donor, our child will have the opportunity to know who his or her birth father was. We will also know family history etc. However, given the state of the laws in the US regarding same-sex relationships, it also leaves the risk of the father later deciding he wants custody of the kid and trying for it. An unknown donor from a sperm bank would never have that opportunity.

I seem to have some issues about not having any genetic link to the child when going with a known donor. It's pretty irrational, but I guess I fear that this bond between my partner, Oksana, and the donor will cause me to feel left out. I would hate to feel like a third-wheel with the creation of my child. But, she really wants to go with a known donor and I intellectually understand why. I want my child to know who the birth father was. I want my child to have a relationship with him. I just want to make sure that this child is my child and not his.